A rare occasion...

Here I am again...9 months later.  The time it takes to grow & deliver a baby.  Have I grown and delivered anything?  Or am I still in gestation?  First trimester?  Second?  Ready to push?  Some days sort of feel like the pushing thing.  Ready to go but the doctor isn't here yet and the nurse is not wanting to deliver on her own.  Maybe it has to do with the weather.  It has taken a long time to summer up and this week is nothing like summer.  Or maybe it is the routine of days.  Or maybe it is this new phase of life...I have no idea if it is really hot or cold in the room.  One minute it feels fine, the next I am "glowing", and the next I am putting on my jacket because I am freezing.  And I am getting a good workout in my arm muscles as I throw the covers off & on throughout the night hours.  I DO NOT miss the monthly routine so this seems like an OK tradeoff but I thought to myself the other day "It could be a loooooong summer".  But no complaining, I have waited for summer since Feb. 1.  My friend asked me if I had to take anything and I said no and she said what about the mood swings and I laughed because I realized I am not suffering from that particular malady.  I had them worse one day every month before.  JOY!!

It sort of seems to go with the theme of the Beth Moore conference we recently attended:
...throw of everything that hinders us and run the race...
she said, You cannot live your life unhurt, but you can live your life unhindered.
I like that.  And it seems like a standard to measure against when life circumstances come my way.  It seems like Jesus.  He was hurt.  But I do believe he was unhindered.  Can I be like that?  The word assures me I can.  Be like Jesus.  Really the only thing worth doing. 

What do you think?

I should do this more often...

I should post more. Not because someone is reading but just for myself and processing and keeping those brain cells functioning. A significant day today...32 yrs. married. Good grief!! How did that happen?!? Married to a Papa!! Did you ever imagine? He is different but the same. Somebody asked me about that and I said he just looks like himself to me. I sort of remember the 19-yr-old blond afro but really, he is just the one I look forward to seeing at the end of each day. And waking up to each morning. He brings me coffee. And kisses me goodbye. Everyday. Faithful, responsible, servant-hearted, fun, not a risk-taker, stable. It works. Some days he makes me crazy. But then I come back to myself and know it is all worth it. Wouldn't trade 32 yrs. So grateful for a fall evening and an introduction that would chart the course of a life together. Ever not happy your plane is late? Sometimes it leads to good things. Like 32 yrs. Today begins #33...

A short post...

It has been forever but so much has been happening...no, not true, well, yes true, but the real truth is winter---major hibernation---and like the earth itself I am awakening. Wow, really corny. Or I was awakening until the weather decided to regress and it is gloomy & rainy & my body is saying go home, snuggle under a quilt, sew a stitch, drink a tea, hunker down. Since January we have had so few days of sun & slight warmth that I think it will never get here. But there are flowers & blooms & buds & green fields that says it will arrive and there is hope for those days of warmth. And I have taken advantage--chomping on strawberries, grilling burgers and asparagus coated in olive oil, making my new fav Cowboy Caviar (I love chipping & dipping), pasta salad, potato salad, etc. etc. etc. Yes, I like food and what I love about the summer is there is much less a craving for sugar which I have had way too much of this winter. So, time to cut back, re-evaluate, savor the days and look for the designer in each one. And pray. For those in distress over rising water, for friends battling physically and emotionally, for family struggling thru uncertain times and transistions. So grateful for the ever-present help in times of trouble, joy unspeakable and a love that brings peace beyond understanding. Be blessed today.

a thought, or two...

I am wondering why this year seems different. No tree up yet, a few decorations out that were handy but most still stored in the garage, although I am enjoying the trees at the "office"--but why? Looking for cards to send but none seem just right. Son & wife arriving in 9 days and want to have it nice for them but still not overblown--why? I think, possibly, with the change of venue there is more of an awareness of the lost & forlorn & forgotten--myriads of phone calls and emails expressing basic needs & requests for support in greif, illness, loss of employment, financial setbacks etc. How to deal? I cannot save the world (that's already been done) and yet, there are things prepared for me to do. Do I recognize them? Or do I ignore them in favor of my own self-comfort? Gratitude certainly expressed to the one that has provided me life but am I listening? Sometimes I just think we need to be quiet and let the whisper become our reality.

Or, maybe, I am just old.

What do you think?

I don't know...

...but I do know I am going to PA & thoughts soar forward...things to do, each day to live (not just survive), until hugs & snuggles & giggles & cuddles, thank you, thank you, thank you,...what more do I need? Some day a gathering all together is the hope but content for now...

thoughts.....

It's Friday. The middle, did you hear me, the middle of October. Fall in the air & the end of another year in sight. I'm starting to hunker down with my blankie--hibernating until the sun returns. I fix dinner all summer at 8 or 9 pm & don't even think a thing about it. I made dinner 2 nights ago @ 7:30 and apologized for serving it so late and then I looked at the clock and said Oh! not late just dark. I am puttering and turning inward as the light wanes--when the time changes I will think it is bedtime by 6:30. Making pots of chili and pans of roasted veggies which are a welcome change from salads although by March I will be craving that fresh asparagus & farmer's market bounty.

I love the seasons and always think that I wouldn't want to live where the sun shines every day. I was disappointed actually when the weather forecast for the week didn't show any rain. But, to everything there is a season and so I will be content and thankful in the day and what it brings.

Three books--Christian Atheist, Radical & Forgotten God--read, read & reading which mess with my contentment and another I just bought because I like the title--Crave--& the cover & the chapter in the middle of the book begins with the line "I don't like people". So, must read and ponder.

A beautiful weekend looms--71 degrees, fall colors, no plans other than packing up the flip flops for another season, sewing a stitch or two, and enjoying a cool sunset. Next week will begin with saying goodbye to a beloved lady, mentor, & friend and so with that perspective I think I will enjoy the gift of each day.

Be blessed today.

almost August...

It's coming!!!! The end of summer, the beginning of school...oh, wait no more school for me, tee hee. As it looms for so many in some "tough" circumstances (let's face it, their circumstances are just not as tough as those starving in third-world nations or being trafficked across the world) I continue to pray that their character will shine thru even in the darkness. A city on a hill...today's verse...a reminder that there is so much more than those circumstances that loom so huge in our human view; circumstances when viewed thru the eyes of the Spirit that become pinpricks...(I know, I use too many ellipses, but don't you just love them......................................it gives such room for thought & comtemplation & perhaps revelation?) The boss has been gone all week & I have the place pretty much to myself with the occasional welcome encounter even tho some are unsettling, challenging me to look beyond myself to what is truth untainted. Ahhhh, do you see the light changing, heading south, bringing new things, bringing us ever closer? I am in love.......................